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“What did the doctor say?” “He said you’re going to die” she replied.Teacher: “Johnny, can you tell me the name of 3 great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people’s lives?” Little Johnny: Drin-king, smo-king, and fuc-king.I bumped into my ex in town earlier. I said “How’s your new bloke?” “He’s twice the man you are” she sneered “what about your new woman?” I said “Thankfully she’s half the woman you are... ?”Our eyes met across the candlelit table. She looked so beautiful. I felt my knees go weak, my heart began to race and my stomach turned to butterflies. That’s when I realized I’d drugged the wrong glass.The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came. Little. And he did. I wasn't sure exactly how he felt about that, but he was beginning to tire of the observation. I noticed the women looking at Danny, but it didn't bother me anymore. I was kind of proud to be the one on his arm, if you must know. He paid them no mind, and it was me he had his arm around, and he seemed to be quite devoted to our relationship. Our conversation was animated on the way through the streets of London to my place, and we laughed heartily recalling scenes from the movie we had viewed earlier. We arrived at my apartment, and after he put his arms around me and kissed me softly, turned and began to walk to his car. People find me quite fetching, and while my breasts were on the smaller side of the ledger, my shapely bum gave observers something to appreciate. He found that to be a fair trade-off, as he had told me early on that he found larger breasts somewhat ponderous. He also seemed to be fascinated by my lightly-curled auburn hair hanging to the middle of my.
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